Fayce Hammond
One Genealogy for De/Colonization
1
born a light
brown ball head full
of dark hair
my great-grandmother approved
that’s an Indian baby
an exclamation
her first great-
grandchild didn’t receive
for all his pale
& blond
& blue eye
2
by the time I was six,
my skin was no longer
dark
hair light
I am told this happens sometimes
with mixed kids
a constant fist-fight
between gene
and bloodline
3
there is a picture
of my great-grandmother
in line
with her 3rd grade class
a boarding school
it floats around in history textbooks
the children unnamed
braids snipped
around identical bowls
cut off
during high school history class
perhaps I saw it
before I knew better
thumbed over her face
before flipping to the next
sterilized tragedy
her joyless mouth
a violent after-picture
4
I have always been mistaken
for not my father’s child
our skin taken as the usual measure
I am told this happens often
with mixed kids
all this misrecognition
5
my grandmother’s grandfather
was born on the trail of tears
life crying out
in the face of death
still
for at least six generations
removal has been bred into our bloodline
6
my mother says when I was born
my nose lay flat
like my grandmother’s
my mother prayed
(& prayed)
it would shape up
(& away)
desperate to pretty-up
my small face
I am told this happens often
to mixed kids
hand-selecting what the breeding didn’t complete
7
for years
after her schooling
after KILL THE INDIAN
SAVE THE MAN
my great-grandmother
used to lie
called her skin anything
but Indian
the Chickasaw
beaten
off her mouth
8
once on an online NDN forum
I saw the post
blue eyes & blond hair is colonization
they aren’t wrong
there are people who would say
I came out of the right end of the gene pool
they aren’t wrong
I move incognito
white until proven otherwise
by my father
by my blood card
by my own mouth
a shock that forces misreaders to mutter
about seeing indigeneity somewhere in my face
removal was bred into our bloodline
most people forget
most hope I forget
I used to I remember now
9
I don’t know when my great-grandmother
remembered our family history
when she built herself up
away from white hands
again
I never knew the woman
beat into erasure
but I do not doubt her
existence
her survival unsilenced
a refusal to stay buried
her cheeky claim
of a light-skin mixed baby
an announcement her blood is here
to stay
so we stay
and stay
tongues at the ready
to lay down reminders
teeth sharp
in case no one listens
Fayce Hammond (they/them) is a fat, queer, Chickasaw poet currently living in Columbus, Ohio. Fayce has a master’s degree from The Ohio State University in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. They are a co-founder of the Columbus Queer Open Mic and Social and value community building. They recently founded a poetry journal that holds particular space for emerging voices called Ink&Nebula. You can find more of their work in The Fem Literary Magazine, Crab Fat Magazine, and Muzzle Magazine.
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